Orgy XIII
by Lightning Sage
Summary: A collection of one-shots that will cover EVERY POSSIBLE ORGANIZATION XIII PAIRING. *NEW: Xigbar/Roxas. OLD: Xaldin/Luxord, Axel/Vexen*
1. Chapter 23: Xigbar x Roxas

So this is supposed to be a gigantic collection of one-shots with every possible pairing of Organization XIII…mainly for fun and to hit on some of those REALLY oddball pairings (I mean, as much as we looooooove Axel x Roxas, wouldn't it be awesommmme to see Lexaeus and Luxord get it on? Or to see the workings of a Xaldin x Larxene?)

Anyway, I'm writing this collection on the premise that ALL PAIRINGS ARE POSSIBLE IN SOME WAY, GIVEN THE RIGHT SITUATION/ENVIRONMENT.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapters 30 and 37!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the characters in it. I do not make any money off of this story. Do not copy this story. In this particular chapter, I also used some lines from Kingdom Hearts II.

**Warnings:** Shounen-ai (kinda hard to avoid considering all but one member are male – unless you want to include the mysterious member XIV alluded to in 358/2 Days), Spoilers

In this one, I used some lines from KHII from a conversation b/t Xigbar and Sora…I thought the parallelism would fit nicely. This one's a bit more drabble-ish than the others.

* * *

**Orgy XIII**

-

Chapter 23: Mixing Business With Pleasure

-

_II: Xigbar "The Freeshooter" x XIII: Roxas "The Key of Destiny"_

* * *

"Roxas, have you been a good boy?"

Roxas' eyes snapped up to glare at Xigbar, half surprised, half defiant. Xigbar was up to his usual appear-out-of-nowhere/get-in-Roxas'-way/ask-a-stupid-question routine. "Move out of my way. I don't have time for this, Xigbar."

"Now, do you think that's polite, shutting me down like that?" he asked mockingly.

"Oh, no," Roxas said sarcastically. "Are you gonna cry?"

"As if! You think that those fancy Keyblades give you the right to talk to your superiors that way? I don't think so. Xemnas lets you slide because you're needed for his grand Kingdom Hearts plans, but don't forget who you're dealing with, Number XIII."

Roxas scowled. "I don't need you lecturing me." Seething, he moved around Xigbar. Xigbar, however, being a manipulator of space, was able to reestablish himself in Roxas' path.

Xigbar grinned at Roxas' furious expression. "Oopsy-daisy."

"Don't you have some Dusks to shoot?"

"I'd much rather shoot for something more interesting."

Roxas decided to ignore Xigbar this time, chalking up the other Nobody's comment to his usual randomness. "I have work to do. Leave me alone."

"Sorry—can't do that—Xemnas' orders," Xigbar replied with a grin. "Apparently, your work and I have something in common—you're supposed to do us."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "I'm sure he meant I'm supposed to do the work _with_ you."

"Nah, I'm pretty sure he ordered you to do me."

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" He seized Xigbar's robe and dragged him into the nearby storage closet and threw him inside. Roxas entered behind him, shut the door, which locked with a sharp _click_.

When the two Nobodies emerged five minutes later, Roxas' cloak was on backwards, and Xigbar's patch was on the wrong eye.

* * *

Ew…not my best work. Don't give up based on this one…I think XaldinxLuxord is the best so far, so try that one at least.

**I'm kinda on backorder in terms of requests, but I still appreciate your feedback, comments, questions, and requests.**


	2. Chapter 30: Xaldin x Luxord

Thanks to everyone who reviewed Chapter 37! Since I only got three reviews and each had a different pairing in mind, I'm gonna try to do those in the order I got them. Though feel free to suggest other pairings or scenarios (it's always easier for me if there's a theme/perspective/quote to incorporate instead of starting from scratch—easierfaster writingyou get updates quicker).

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the characters in it. I do not make any money off of this story. The sequence of dialogue and monologue belong to Lightning Sage; do not copy this story.

**Warnings:** Shounen-ai (kinda hard to avoid considering all but one member are male – unless you want to include the mysterious member XIV alluded to in 358/2 Days), Spoilers

* * *

**Orgy XIII**

-

Chapter 30: An Improvised Fate

-

_III: Xaldin "Whirlwind Lancer" x X: Luxord "The Gambler of Fate"_

* * *

"Your mission went accordingly, I presume?" Luxord asked as Xaldin appeared in the Organization's dining area.

"I'm getting more accomplished than you will sitting around playing mindless card games and compulsively gambling," Xaldin replied evenly.

With a sweep of Luxord's arm, the fifty-two cards on the table had disappeared. He folded is hands and finally looked up at Xaldin. "Well, Xaldin, your haughty retort leads me to believe that your mission didn't result quite so favorably. You have my utmost attention," he said with a smug smile. "Enlighten me."

The stocky man gave a noncommittal grunt and stalked towards the door. Seemingly out of nowhere, six human-sized cards appeared in front of Xaldin, blocking his path.

Xaldin wasn't in the mood for Luxord's games. A pair of lances appeared in his hand. Without warning, he spun on his heel and launched one at Luxord, and it landed inches from his head. Luxord gave an amused chuckle before speaking again.

"How about a wager, then, Xaldin?" Luxord asked with a smirk. "If I win, I'd like to hear all about your excursion to Beast's Castle."

Xaldin met his gaze steadily. "And if you lose?"

Luxord laughed. "I'll let you decide. _If_ you win."

The Whirlwind Lancer considered the proposition carefully. If Luxord was going to be so lenient about the stakes of their wager, there must be a catch. Xaldin had to do something to gain the upper hand.

"On one condition."

Luxord quirked a blond eyebrow. "And that is…?"

"I choose the game."

The smirk was still there. "What did you have in mind?"

"Spit."

Luxord cocked his head. "Interesting. Any reason for that particular choice?"

"Why do you ask, Luxord?" Xaldin sneered. "Scared to lose?"

"Weren't you the one who reprimanded certain Organization members about acting like they had emotions?"

"I'm surprised you looked up from your cards long enough to listen to the meeting."

"Of course I listened," Luxord replied. "It was quite entertaining to watch Xigbar call Demyx out on the carpet and listen to Demyx attempt to weasel his way out of fighting Sora." He gestured towards the table. "Shall we?"

After a few brisk strides, Xaldin seated himself across from Luxord.

Spit was not a game that could be won by pure luck. It required a combination of skill, speed, and foresight to play the cards and take the most advantage of the hand dealt. Luxord, an avid gambler, reaped the benefits of his inherent and seemingly never ending luck. Xaldin, however, preferred to rely more heavily on his dexterity in handling the cards. He was very seldom lucky, but when he was, he utilized that opportunity to get rid of his cards to the fullest.

The match was intense. Luxord, although easily the most skilled all-around card player of Organization XIII, specialized in games that were mental in nature. Sure, his luck was a major factor in how he played, but he was also extremely skilled at both bluffing as well as reading other people's bluffs.

But there was none of that in spit. Everything was out in the open; what one player could see, the opponent could also see. It was all a matter of having the right cards at the right time, being quick enough to use them, and keeping your opponent from using his cards.

The match went on for two and a half hours. The size of each player's deck appeared sinusoidal as each attempted to rid himself of all his cards. During the final round, Xaldin had a mere ten cards remaining. When he had played all them, he slapped the empty stack on the table so hard that it shook.

"You lose."

Luxord gave a curt nod. "It was exciting to match skills with someone as adroit as you in spit."

Xaldin snorted. "You think complimenting me will save you from upholding your end of the bargain?"

"Of course not. As few times as I lose, I never back down on my wagers." His eyes hardened before he continued. "I said I'd let you decide on the winning condition. Have you decided?"

Xaldin was in complete control. He had Luxord at his mercy. He could make Luxord do _anything_ he _wanted_…he could totally and utterly humiliate the Gambler of Fate, make him never want to make another wager for the rest of his _life…_

"Tell me why you wanted to know about the results of my mission so badly."

Luxord's eyes widened a fraction, as if surprised by Xaldin's demand. Xaldin himself was surprised. What had made him spare the card-wielder in such a pathetic and powerless state?

Luxord sifted through his cards as he answered. "Well, it was rather obvious that something had gone awry."

"My attempts at turning Beast into a Heartless have been unsuccessful," Xaldin admitted, pushing strands of dreadlocks over his shoulder. "I'd given him an ultimatum—he could either keep his precious girl or his beloved rose, and they both managed to slip through my fingers."

"That was quite the wager," Luxord remarked. He pulled out a Joker. "You call my card games mindless and my gambling compulsive, yet you make gambles every day through the choices you make." He returned the Joker to the deck and began shuffling it. "Life isn't that much different from most card games, if you think about it. Take poker, for example. Everyone is dealt a group of cards. You generally don't know what anyone else has in their hand. Regardless, you have to determine what cards everyone else was dealt, take risks and make choices, and ultimately take the most advantage of the cards in your hand."

Xaldin's mouth twitched. "That still doesn't really explain why you seemed willing to wager anything just to find out about my mission." He stared in bewilderment. "What were you thinking, letting me decide the winning conditions before you agreed to them? I could have just as easily ruined your nonexistent life."

"I wasn't concerned with that because you had no idea I was going to challenge you to a game."

"You rely on the element of surprise to win your card games?"

Luxord chuckled. "Not at all. I was referring to your own shortcomings in the art of improvisation."

Xaldin blinked. "_What_?"

Luxord smirked. "Precisely."

The Whirlwind Lancer stood abruptly. "Next time I see The Superior, I'll let him know you need more missions. If you have so much time on your hands to be playing card games, surely you have enough time to employ your _improvisation_ and _gambling_ skills in a way that benefits the Organization."

"As long as the mission's not _boring_," Luxord drawled. Xaldin stormed from the room, leaving Luxord and his cards behind.

* * *

Luxord was seated in his usual chair the following morning. He was practicing his card tricks when Xaldin stepped out of a dark portal across the room.

"The Superior asked me to inform you that your responsibilities include cleaning the castle this week. This includes both common areas and individual quarters."

"Cleaning?" Luxord repeated. "Why would The Superior assign me such a tedious and menial task?"

"The Superior feels that your powers—or lack thereof—will not fare well against the Keyblade bearer. We are at a critical stage with Kingdom Hearts, and he wishes that only more skilled Organization members deal with Sora. In the meantime, you can focus on playing maid and keeping the castle sanitary."

"Since when does Xemnas care about sanitation? Kingdom Hearts is his only concern; hygiene is merely a luxury to him."

"Do you dare question The Superior?" Xaldin asked sharply.

Luxord's mouth snapped shut. "No, of course not."

Xaldin smiled grimly. "Good. The Superior expects you to be done by supper. You can start with my room—it will be vacant since I am on a mission for the next few hours." Xaldin stepped back into the portal and vanished.

Luxord sighed. It was going to be a long day. It was an insult to make him do such a rudimentary task, but if The Superior ordered it, he was obligated to fulfill it.

Xaldin's room was surprisingly neat. After the stunt he'd pulled yesterday, Luxord had expected Xaldin to make his job as difficult as possible by leaving a mess.

Before Luxord could react, a sharp blow knocked him against the wall. When he regained his senses again, Luxord realized that he was pinned to the wall with five lances, which completely restricted his movement.

Xaldin stepped out in front of him, his sixth lance in hand.

"Well, well, aren't you in quite the predicament, Number X?" Xaldin asked vicariously. "However are you going to escape?" The pointed end of the sixth lance drew a line from ear to ear across Luxord's neck; it didn't cut him, but the pressure was enough to make breathing difficult. Suddenly, the lance was gone and Xaldin had replaced that space, his mouth pressed against Luxord's ear. In a whisper, he spoke again. "Maybe you should _improvise_."

Luxord closed his eyes and shivered. He felt Xaldin's dreadlocks drift onto his shoulder. On impulse, he craned his neck and latched onto Xaldin's ear, sucking on it sensually. "How's that for improvisation?" he murmured.

All six lances, including the one Xaldin was holding in his hand, clattered to the floor. He pushed Luxord back to the wall and smashed his lips against the blonde's, closing the distance between their bodies. Luxord ran a hand through thick dreadlocks.

Xaldin's mouth migrated to Luxord's neck, maintaining contact even as he spoke. "What are you willing to wager that we'll end up on that bed within the next five minutes?"

Luxord laughed as he clutched muscular biceps.

"I'm afraid it wouldn't be considered a wager if we both knew the outcome."

* * *

**Characterization issues: **Ugh…Xaldin is such a hard person to keep in character. I mean, we just don't see too much of him. Like, he's obviously sadistic—in a different way than Larxene is. He's more like, I'm going to manipulate you and feed off of your insecurities and despair. His taunts come from making the person stop believing in themselves and those close to them. Larxene is more like, I'm just gonna make you suffer and dangle whatever bait you give me so you get mad and screw yourself up. There's really a fine distinction between the sadism of Xaldin and Larxene. Xaldin's more methodical and knows exactly what he's going after before he starts his taunting, whereas Larxene kinda takes it as she sees it and turns it around.

But anyway, I'm not really sure how well Xaldin thinks on his feet. I mean, there's nothing I've seen that proves he's bad at improvisation, but the fact that he's so independent in his missions (and the way he goes about doing them) seems to imply that he goes in with a plan, knowing what he's going to say and do. I mean, compare him to Xigbar, who also seems to function somewhat independently, yet Xigbar tends to ramble a bit when he speaks.

**KHII Final Mix spoilers:** In KHII FM there's a scene called, "The Plans," that I referred to in this one-shot. It's not essential to know, but it might help you understand the fic better. I believe you can watch the English subtitled version here: www. kh-vids. net /newplayer. php?idf137SDKs3U (just take out the spaces), or go to and go to cutscene archive, Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix Cutscenes (English Subtitles), and click on the video called, "The Plans." It took me a while to figure out who's who but if you want to know who I think is talking at each part you can either email me or ask in a review.

**Spit:** If you don't know what it is, look it up on Google or something, 'cause it'll probably give you a better explanation that I can. When the players are evenly matched, the game can last a very long time. I have played games that lasted hours.


	3. Chapter 37: Vexen x Axel

**Orgy XIII**

-

Chapter 37: A "Failed" Replica

-

_IV: Vexen "The Chilly Academic" x VI: Axel "The Flurry of Dancing Flames"_

* * *

Vexen spent much of his spare time attempting to perfect the ever elusive replication process. He was a scientist, after all; he had an innate desire to know and achieve that which was thought to be beyond human reach.

Not that he was human.

But the fact that he existed, even as a Nobody, was reason enough for Vexen to continue pursuit of his scientific interests from his previous life. If anything, he'd been given a second chance to make progress in his research, and he fully intended to be the first to invent a completely functional replica.

"Hey."

Vexen even didn't look up from his calculations. There was only one person in the whole Organization who had the insolence to disrupt his precious research.

Number VIII. Axel. The Flurry of Dancing Flames.

"Hope I'm not interrupting," Axel remarked.

"Good evening, Number VIII," Vexen responded coldly. "I was under the impression that the Organization's objective for this month was to give proper greetings."

"My bad," Axel shrugged, leaning against the wall. "I thought that was directed towards the _underground_ members."

Vexen, unable to work through his sudden flood of anger, stood up and whirled around to face Axel. "The underground members are not the problem," he spat. "Believe it or not, you abovegrounders are the ones in need of an attitude adjustment. Talk about no respect!"

Axel laughed. "'No respect'? Come on, you can't tell me I don't respect my elders. I follow orders and everything…" He smirked. "Well…usually."

Vexen glared at him. "Well, then I order you to leave me alone. I have work to do." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "And don't come back unless it's urgent."

Axel gave a cocky grin and plopped himself in Vexen's lab chair. If possible, Vexen managed to exude an even more chilling anger. "No can do," Axel replied cheerfully. "I'm on orders from the Superior himself."

"Th-the Superior?" Vexen stammered. Whenever Xemnas was involved, it was always serious. "What for?"

Axel smirked. "Oh, you know…he likes to know what you've been up to this whole time."

Vexen sniffed. "I've made over one hundred independent attempts to replicate myself, but no avail," he said glumly. He gestured towards a chamber to his right. "Those are all of my failed clones."

Axel eyed the Vexen reject-pile. Some of them appeared catatonic, while others exhibited odd behaviors—hair pulling, twitching, giggling—the list went on. Axel's face split into a wide grin.

"Oh, boy, is that my every sexual fantasy come true."

Vexen choked. "I beg your pardon?"

"Ever consider a threesome with me and one of your replicas?"

Vexen's eyes bulged.

"C'mon Vexen, you must have at least _one_ clone with sexual function," Axel said with a wink.

A slow smile crept onto the Chilly Academic's face.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

Who knew his "failed" replica experiments would come in such handy?

* * *

Yeah, that was kinda weird…XD

**The Organization's monthly objective:** In the manga, the underground Organization members have a bulletin board displaying their various duties as well as "This Month's Objective," which was to "give proper greetings." Even though Axel was not considered an underground member, Vexen would go ballistic on lower-ranking/newer members who didn't show him respect. XD

**I'm kinda on backorder in terms of requests, but please continue to let me know your thoughts and opinions about my work.**


End file.
